Dear white Americans,
Having spent the last two months in a country that’s mostly Asian, I think I know what it feels like when y’all ask each other this question. I kinda understand why you don’t see what’s wrong when you go up to non-white people and introduce yourselves and then suddenly say something like, “Where are you from? … No, I mean, where are you really from?” (“I’m really from Atlanta, you doofus.”*)
See, while I’ve been in Singapore, I’ve been asked about my heritage a lot. I look Chinese (well, Chinese enough that hawkers always speak to me in Mandarin), but I’ve got these huge Vietnamese eyes, and my accent is clearly American. The weird thing is that I usually hate this question, but here, I’ve rather enjoyed answering it.
Why is this?
- First, contemporary Singapore isn’t as racist as the US**… Instead, it’s insanely nationalist! (ugh) So anyways, Chinese people might look down on other Chinese people who are Chinese nationals and not Singaporean, but not because of their ethnicity (also ugh). But this means most people here (nationals, expats, migrant workers) who ask me about my heritage already understands that race is complicated, and race isn’t everything. On the other hand, when I get this question from white people in the US, and I try to explain that my mother is Chinese but was born in Malaysia, they stare at me with their mouths open and sometimes tell me I’m wrong and actually my ethnicity is Malay (Thanks, white people!).
- When people here ask me about my family history, they usually ask from an empathetic perspective. That’s because Singapore is full of Asian migrants! So they get it! They feel it! I guess the phrase “family history” is telling. They might even have a similar kind of curiosity about their own roots. On the other hand, when white Americans ask this question, it’s not about my parents’ lives and my life and our experiences. It’s a game for them. Like, OMG I wonder if I can guess what kind of Asian you are! Well, I play that game too, sometimes. With dog breeds.
- People here are not going to discredit my achievements because I am Asian. People are not going to think I am a robot because I am Asian. My Asian-ness is not something that sets the complete context for my actions and my desires. It is not an excuse to pretend I lack agency. Whereas in the US? If I do well in school, well maybe it’s just because I’m Chinese. When I study, maybe it’s because I can’t do other things. When I’m good at the violin? Probably it’s because I’m Asian.***
Uh, I think those are the three big ones. /endrant/
*Pretty sure nobody’s used the word doofus since 1997.
** Individuals here are still pretty racist though, despite all the ‘racial harmony’ propaganda. It’s just … better. Or maybe it’s just better for me. Like, I’m part of the racial majority now. Huh.
*** This has actually vastly improved in college (from high school), but it hasn’t completely disappeared. I’ve definitely been told at UChicago in the past six months that some of my achievements resulted from my Asian-ness. Not cool.
Minus 